Friday, January 4, 2008

Conan The Barber

If Conan the Barbarian wanted to end his barbarous ways and take up another vocation, he'd be wise to stay out of the barber business. Barbering is deeply regulated by The State. To establish himself as a Barber, Conan would have to satisfy these people. He would have to prove that he has attended one of their approved and licensed schools. I know what you're thinking, "He's Conan!". It doesn't matter.
According to the Ohio Revised Code,
"no person shall do any of the following:
(A) Engage in or attempt to engage in the practice of barbering, hold themselves out as a practicing barber, or advertise in a manner that indicates they are a barber, without a barber license issued pursuant to this chapter;......."

It goes on and on and on from there. essentially this is what it says:

First it goes into a lengthy definition of Barbering. Then it basically states that no one may barber or teach barbering. No one, that is, that does not have a license. Even if you are Conan the Rehabilitated Barbarian. No matter that Conan can crush an ordinary man. He is nothing next to the Juggernaut that is the Ohio State Barber Board.
Conan could get a license from one of the many(many!) schools in Ohio. Of course the schools exist to allow people to comply with laws that then enable the schools to exist so that people who want to cut hair instead of being a murderous barbarian can do so without breaking the law. Conan is confused.

Sorry Conan, maybe you can find another job.

I'm glad there is someone to watch our for my hair. My hair is safe from the deadly blade of the barbarian. Imagine what things might look like in a world where anyone could go around willy nilly cutting hair. It gives me chills. Thank you Ohio State Barber Board.