Friday, January 30, 2009

I Don't Hate Vests

Left 4 Dead is a great game! It's a Team Based Zombie Survival First Person Shooter. Or as I like to call it: TBZSFPS. You and your friends play as one of 4 zombie apocalypse survivors. You have Bill, the grizzled war vet, chain smoking curmudgeon who is like a crazy uncle. You have Louis, the disgruntled corporate drone who is finally taking charge of his life. You have Zoey, a pretty girl with grit, a terrible attitude, and terrific aim. And then you have Francis.

Left4Dead is a blast and the best TBZSFPS ever. Of course it's the only TBZSFPS ever but I digress. It's appropriately rated M for mature. You can find it on Steam and when I and my friends are not playing WoW, we're blasting zombies.

Monday, January 26, 2009

You Need To Effing-Wake Up!

"These were the stores that didn't do what they were supposed to do. We may go three or four more months and try this again. So if you're not doing what you're supposed to do then you need to wake up and start doing it."

Those are the words of Effingham County sheriff Jimmy McDuffie. Sheriff McDuffie just completed a 6 month investigation of local "Gas Stations". Or, as I like to call them, "Sin Stations". These Sin Stations were running illegal child-slavery operations out of the back offices. A gang of former Russian KGB agents had formed a vast underground criminal empire to smuggle toddlers straight out of daycare and into coal mines in West Virginia.
No, just kidding. They were just a bunch of small business owners who happened to run afoul of Georgia's anti-gambling laws. These brazen thugs had the temerity to operate video gambling machines in their Sin Stations. Right out where CHILDREN could see them! Well not any more! Effing-Sheriff Jimmy and his team of Effing-Deputies shut it right down. There is even video of these brave heroes in action. Watch and let the criminals tremble in Effing-Fear as the Effing-Deputies show these Effing-Sinners how business is done in Effingham County. It's Effing-Scary!

Be sure and stop by one of your local Sin Stations to buy your Georgia Lottery tickets.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Numbers Games

Recently the Stamford Connecticut Narcotics and Organized Crime unit spent a month investigating Soloman Muson and some of his friends. It seems they were running an illegal numbers game. He must have been a real Tony Soprano. After all, they spent a month doing an investigation. They seized his Mercedes and a bunch of cash. Oh ya, it was a 1997 Mercedes. And the cash? They found less than 3,000 dollars.
Small potatoes compared to the Big Boys who run scams like this one:

In 2008 Connecticut sold
$998,147,892.00 worth of lottery tickets.

This is an actual ticket sold in Connecticut.

Here is another one. This ticket will set you back $30.00. For ONE